We have already started into the Christmas season. For most of us the excitement has started , decorations have already begun to appear in homes both inside and outdoors.People everywhere are laughing and talking about how they are going to celebrate and the families they will be celebating with. It all sounds like so much fun..... unless you are grieving the loss of a loved one!! I am sure you have heard from friends and family how you should be this holiday season. The question for you is "How do you feel you want to celebrate?" We all want to help those grieving to get through the holidays but I often wonder if we want them to be happy so we can enjoy the season because we do not know how to help and are afraid to do the wrong thing. This is called The Elephant in the Room.Yes it is a TOUGH question and I needed to sit with it for a long time unitl I was that grieving person.I have learned that the most important thing for any one that has suffered a loss is to be true to yourself. Take part in the events you feel comfortble attending.Share your needs with family and friends.They need to know your limits and needs. I will give you an example ...Your neighbors are having a house party.If you decide to attend give yourself the gift of knowing you can stay only as long as you feel comfortable and let the host know you are not sure how long you will be staying.This gives you the option of coming and leaving as you wish without needing to explain your descisions.Decorate if you wish , maybe it would only be a few ornaments instead of a big tree.Have a close frieng help you when you get stsarted for company and support. Take a moment either on your own or with family to recognie the person you have lost in a small way so they are a part of the celebration This could be as simple as making a toast to the one missing this year. If tears are shed that is perfectly ok because those you are with may be wanting to acknowledge the loved one as well.Remember friends and family do want to help so let them know what you need.
If you have any questions or comments reach out .As someone that has experienced grieviing through the holidays I am honored to assist you.